Michael Bay diarrhea
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
