I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
this hospital has no fireball
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
