In the future we'll all be gay
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
