brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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