I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
