my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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