also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
