He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
