we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
