Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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