Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
