come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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