I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
