"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
