Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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