i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
