I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
