just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
