it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The power of my boobs compel you
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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