He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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