she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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