we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
