Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
