Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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