so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize