Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
