he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
