The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize