I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
