Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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