I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
