Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.