Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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(301): View more from Maryland

I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.

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(224): View more from Illinois

The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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(860): View more from Connecticut

she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
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(917): View more from New York City

i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

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(905): View more from Ontario

I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital

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