so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
