Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.