two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
