honey bunches of taint.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I enjoy the company of your penis
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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