Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
