Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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