come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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