garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
