I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
