Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
