He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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