Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
