Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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