Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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