Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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