We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
