i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
