I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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