Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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