Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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