I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
