Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
