Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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