Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
