Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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