BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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