new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
