Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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