im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just had sex bonerless
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize