ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
