real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Terrible idea I love it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
