You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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