Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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