Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
