What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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